The Silent Burnout of Being “Too Much” in a Broken System
- Kristi Duvall
- Aug 17
- 2 min read
You don’t always see burnout coming. Sometimes it sneaks in quietly—behind the moments where you over-explain, over-prepare, over-compensate. Especially when you’ve been told, directly or indirectly, that your presence is a bit much.
That’s what happened to me during a season where I was praised for my energy, my execution, my drive. Until I wasn’t.
I was “too intense.” “Too direct.”
Never mind that those qualities had helped the team hit aggressive targets. Suddenly, what once made me valuable was being labeled as something that needed softening.
The Setup for Burnout
Modern workplaces are great at telling people to bring their whole selves to work—until those selves disrupt the status quo. Especially for women and other underrepresented leaders, there’s a fine line between being seen as powerful and being seen as too much.
When you’re stuck in that no-win zone, burnout isn’t just about workload—it’s about emotional whiplash.
It’s trying to lead in a system that punishes the very traits it once celebrated.
It’s the exhaustion of constantly recalibrating how much space you’re allowed to take up.
Words as Warning Signs
If you start hearing:
“You’re intimidating.”
“Can you tone it down a bit?”
“You’re just very… passionate.”
Those aren’t just comments. They’re clues. That something in the system isn’t working for you anymore.
And when those words start to wear you down, you begin to question yourself. That’s when burnout turns dangerous—when it morphs into self-doubt.
The Resilience Reframe
In my coaching, I talk a lot about resilience—not as bouncing back, but as learning to hold your ground when the system pushes against you. That’s what modern leadership requires:
Knowing your values.
Recognizing the signs of emotional labor overload.
Setting boundaries not just around your time, but around your identity.
The truth is, you’re not too much. You’re operating in an environment that’s too small for your leadership.
If This Feels Familiar…
You’re not alone. The burnout you’re feeling might not be about capacity. It might be about culture.
And the first step to reclaiming your power is remembering that your voice, your presence, your intensity—they’re not problems to solve. They’re strengths to protect.
If you’re navigating this tension, I see you. Let’s keep the conversation going. DM me your experience—or share a word you’ve had used against you. I’ll be talking more about this in my Modern Leadership and Weaponized Words series all month.
If this resonates and you’re ready to lead without shrinking, reach out here—I’d love to support your leadership journey. Book a discovery call and let's talk!
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