How to Build Leaders by Letting Go: Coaching Through Imperfection

Photo by BOOM 💥The real power move? Passing the baton and cheering them on from behind.

One of the hardest parts of leadership is stepping back—especially when you know you could make things smoother, faster, or better.

But growth doesn’t come from being the person who always steps in.It comes from creating space for others to step up.

The Temptation to Step In

A few weeks ago, I was prepping a team member for a high-stakes conversation.

We had walked through scenarios, clarified the value, and role-played the tough parts.

And then, right before the moment came, I paused.

I thought:

Would my presence help—or would it hold him back?

So I didn’t join. I gave the green light to lead it solo.

He didn’t handle it exactly the way I would have.

But he took ownership. Thought through the approach. And made a call.

That’s leadership in motion—not perfection, but progress.

The Real Work of Leadership? Letting Go of Control

Resilience in leadership isn’t just about enduring stress.

It’s about building capability in others—especially when it’s messy, uncertain, or slower than you’d like.

That moment reminded me:

• Coaching someone through discomfort is more powerful than removing it.

• Long-term growth is worth more than a perfect outcome.

• People need reps—not just advice.

It would’ve been easy to jump in.

But stepping back created the space for growth.

And next time? He won’t need me there.

Coaching Insight: You’re Not Building Dependence. You’re Building Leaders.

I coach a lot of leaders who feel caught in a trap

This pattern isn’t uncommon. In fact, research shows that many organizations invest in leadership training without truly developing leaders on the ground.

According to Harvard Business Review, empowering others to lead improves decision-making, accountability, and long-term team performance.

“If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.”

“It’s faster if I just handle it.”

“They’re not ready yet.”

And yes, those things might be true…But they’ll always be true if you never give them a chance to prove otherwise.

Leadership isn’t about being the hero in every situation.

It’s about helping others become the kind of person who can hold their own in the room.

Your Turn: Who Needs a Shot at Leading?

Ask yourself:

• Where am I unintentionally holding others back by holding on too tightly?

• What am I afraid will happen if I step back?

• What might actually happen if I let them lead?

Even if it’s not perfect, it could be the start of something powerful.

Let them take the lead.

Then coach them through what comes next.

Keep the Momentum Going

If this sparked something for you, share it with a fellow leader—or drop a comment to let me know:

Where are you holding on when you could be letting go?

And if you’re navigating that tension between control and growth, you might also like:

👉 How to Lead Through Tension: Becoming the Bridge Between Friction and Flow