Conflict as a Catalyst: Fostering Growth Mindset and Enhancing Motivation

We’ve spent the first two weeks of this month exploring self-awareness and different types of feedback as part of the Personal Development and EQ in the SPARK Method. Hopefully, you took the time to pause and reflect to heighten self-awareness and opted to ask for feedback from colleagues, including direct reports, peers, and managers. Know that the inner work for heightening self-awareness and asking for feedback is never “done.” It’s a form of continuous improvement—never mastered.

The result of feedback is a gift. Much of this can depend on what we have going on both personally and professionally. Since life is full of ebb and flow, our ability to receive feedback and truly comprehend the opportunity and take action on that feedback to heighten self-awareness can impact a few things, including conflict, mindset, and motivation.

Let’s Explore Conflict

I remember having lunch with my manager many years ago. We had what I believed to be a great relationship. We exchanged consistent feedback. In the course of our conversations, I felt comfortable giving and receiving feedback as we often communicated with transparency.

During that lunch, we discussed next steps for advancement in my career. I left that conversation so energized and excited. I fully understood I had a lot of work to do to improve my leadership and management skills, including managing conflict instead of avoiding it.

In the months and years that followed, I continued working with an executive coach. In tandem, I asked for more responsibility and often received it. Occasionally in conversation, I raised the opportunity for advancement—a vision of success and requesting a timeline. After countless attempts to have a direct conversation, the opportunities lessened, and our conversations became more transactional. My confidence was shaken as I reflected on times when perhaps I pushed the boundaries a bit too far, deepening the conflict.

In hindsight, I learned a significant lesson: you have control over yourself and how you react to situations. I recognized that I couldn't control my manager's thoughts or expectations, nor the reasons behind their reluctance to continue delegating responsibilities. They may have had commitments or reasons that could not be shared with me.

Instead, I focused on what I could control—my own actions and reactions. I took the indirect actions, such as avoidance, as forms of feedback and chose to interpret them constructively. This perspective shift helped me understand that conflicts can be managed by changing how we perceive and respond to them.

Some conflicts may remain unresolved, and that's okay. We have the choice to navigate around them and continue our growth journey. Conflicts can be big or small in the workplace. By maintaining self-awareness and seeking continuous feedback, we can navigate these situations better.

Connection to Leadership: Leaders often encounter conflicts and must navigate them effectively. By controlling your actions and reactions, you set an example for your team. This proactive approach to conflict management fosters a culture of transparency and continuous improvement.

A Call to Action: Reflect on your approach to conflict. Are you focusing on what you can control and interpreting feedback constructively? Embrace conflicts as opportunities for growth and demonstrate to your team the importance of handling conflicts with a growth mindset.

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Fostering a Growth Mindset

Primarily, there are two mindsets: growth mindset and fixed mindset. A growth mindset takes the approach that almost anything can be learned with effort and perseverance. On the other hand, a fixed mindset focuses on the belief that abilities, intelligence, and circumstances are static and unchangeable, resulting from one's inability to control.

At a young age, I was encouraged to chase my dreams. When I was 21, I packed a few suitcases, got on a plane, and headed to Sun Valley, Idaho.

It was the early 90s, a vibrant time in Seattle with its booming music scene and iconic movies. As a twenty-something from Pittsburgh, where many come from close-knit families and the black and gold of our sports teams run in our blood, it was hard for many to comprehend why I would leave. But working at a ski shop, I was influenced by customers seeking the latest gear for the slopes and the après-ski season of the West. My mind was focused on chasing the dream to land somewhere between the slopes of the Rocky Mountains and the Seattle I saw in the movies.

I had dropped out of college—it just wasn’t for me. I faced setbacks and got lost along the way. But ultimately, I had a growth mindset. I knew I was destined for more. I wasn’t the best student; I was average. I wasn’t the best musician; I was average—despite my passion and ambition.

I took a longer road to get to Seattle, but those travels west from Pittsburgh through Idaho, Oregon, and Washington taught me something crucial about myself. I had and still have a growth mindset. Even as I turned 50 this year, I see the possibility of new doors opening. Why? Because I have the mindset to continue learning and growing, regardless of experience or expertise.

A Call to Action: Reflect on your own mindset. Are you embracing challenges as opportunities to learn and grow? A growth mindset is essential for effective leadership and personal development.

Connection to Leadership: Leaders with a growth mindset inspire their teams to embrace challenges and view setbacks as opportunities for growth. In the earlier story about the conflict with a manager, my growth mindset helped immensely. This mindset fosters a culture of continuous learning and improvement, essential for organizational success.

Boosting Motivation

Motivation comes from within. As a sales leader, I have often been advised that I need to motivate my team. There is intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is sustainable—inspired by your north star. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside sources and is fleeting—fading as quickly as a shooting star.

When I first shared that I aspired to become a manager, I was told no. That I wouldn’t be a good fit for the role and that I was best suited to stay in my role as an individual contributor. But I was motivated. I was willing to do the work. I read articles, attended seminars and conferences. Why? Because I was motivated, driven, and ambitious.

Connection to Leadership: Motivation comes from within. And when we shine our light, it can inspire ourselves and those around us to dream big and achieve.

The path to effective leadership includes navigating conflict, having a growth mindset, and cultivating motivation from within.

A Call to Action: Reflect on your own motivations. As a leader, how can you create an environment where intrinsic motivation thrives?

Exploring conflict, mindset, and motivation can heighten awareness of yourself, team dynamics, and leading with authenticity. It fosters an environment where people are heard, feel safe, and contribute in a big way. Bring these things together and your results and organization will be unstoppable.